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// what i'm thinking

News for Dummies 13/1/12

  • 13th Jan 12

A mum whose baby died 13 years ago was horrified to be informed that his brain is in a jar in a hospital; turns out it’s running the NHS. The tennis court on Carlos Tevez’s property is to be bulldozed after passers by called it an eyesore; in that case are the council are still […]

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News for Dummies 12/1/12

  • 12th Jan 12

A suspected al-Queda chief Mohamed Ali al-Faldi has been banned from flying to Britain; the fact this is news worries me, did we used to just let suspected al-Queda leaders jet in willy nilly up until this breakthrough in national security? Does it take our overwhelming ego in hosting the olympic games to clamp down […]

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News for Dummies 10/1/12

  • 10th Jan 12

What a weekend in the FA cup Arsenal see the comeback of Thierry Henry. Paul Scholes comes out of retirement for Manchester United; Only to be topped by Liverpool. Who brought back racism in the crowds which no one has seen since the early 60’s Somebody tell celebrity spud scrubber Anthony Worrall Thompson he doesn’t […]

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News for Dummies 9/1/12

  • 9th Jan 12

Celebrity vegetable peeler Antony Warrol Thompson was arrested for shoplifting Wine and Cheese from Tesco; I think the Ready Steady Crook star read between the lines of Tesco’s slogan EVERY (ugly) LITTLE (prick) HELPS (himself) Beyonce has had her baby; making her daughter the second 8lb, black, body of flesh to pass through her fanny […]

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A penny for my thoughts

  • 8th Jan 12

Earlier this month a promoter I worked for got an email off an audience member claiming a certain piece of my material was racist, luckily we could respond by sending them a video clip of me doing the accused routine at a “Stand up against racism” benefit gig. The bit is an observation about the […]

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